For Him

I lost my blog...but then I found it. Really, I couldn't get the thing to come up for about a week or so...I'm so green, here I am afterall!  So glad to be back in touch with myself.

I have been a bit gloomy the last few days. But this morning I got some revelation on my blues and now my perspective is back to optimism. It has been a rather emotional transition the last 6 months. We moved away from the familiar world I grew up in and relocated to the mountains of Western North Carolina.

While I love my new surroundings, my heart is torn with grief because my twelve year old son decided to stay in Florida to live with his father. I've had custody of him since we separated before his first birthday. I have home schooled him since the beginning. But I really felt I needed to let him decide (and his father made it clear he was going to fight for custody anyway.) SO, we packed up our world and took our four other children and moved three states away from my firstborn.

I've been so raw, I haven't wanted to write about it at all. Even talking about it tears my soul.  I know enough about healing not bury my pain and expect to grow or move forward. So here I am, publically processing.

I miss him so much. I wish he would have chosen me, us. His siblings don't understand. They are so little still. My second son is only 7. My husband is incredibly supportive, but none of them grasp my sorrow. I trust the Lord. He is worthy and I know it will somehow work out for good because He said so. He can't lie. I believe Him. Still, I struggle with this pain. I give it to Him daily, hourly, sometimes moment by moment. And He keeps propelling me to press on.

Blogging is part of my pressing. I never would have thought of it, if HE hadn't encouraged me to do it. So, for Him, I'm blogging. Because He thinks it's a good idea. Because it is His idea. Even if no one else ever reads this. I know He is. I don't know why He wants me to do it, but I guess it doesn't matter really. Obedience brings blessings, and that's good enough for me.

Be blessed,
Kathryn

Waterfall Hunting

We found that awesome waterfall we were hunting. Wow. There we were- Mama Bear and Papa Bear with our four fearless cubs slip sliding up an icy mountain trail. At one point, I lost all memory of WHY? I almost chickened out. But NO. Determination, anticipation and roaring water wooed, 'just a little further on....' So I kept moving one foot in front of the other and clutched my four year old's arm. Eventually, we reached paradise! A bit chillier than anticipated, but spectacular. I snapped picures and oohed and ahhhed. The children played Pooh Sticks on the bridge. We met a nice couple from TN and shared a moment in time. Then, off we went, back to adrenaline alley. I'll post pics as soon as I figure out how! LOL!

Happy dreams

Emancipation From Procrastination

Hello world,
I was just about to head out for a little waterfall hunting with my sweet children, Samuel,
Audrey, Caroline, Joe Joe,  and my hunk of man husband, Daniel. But then the phone
rang and my honey picked it up..so now I have a minute to start what I keep not finishing.

I've been procratinating writing this first post since hmmm I don't know exactly...too long.  Why, you ask?
Golly, I wish I could say for sure, except maybe... fear? I hate fear. I hate hate.
But maybe that's another post.

I started to start this thing last May. A lot has happened since then. (Another post for that too.)
Procrastination is a bugger, isn't it? I thought I had grown beyond some of that mess, but,
Tada! It flashes it's snarly grin....Well, not really. I guess it was , but that slimy vermin is slinking back toward it's hole since I am stepping out NOW. I am no longer technically procrastinating... (when I hit publish anyway)
HAHA! Take that devil! I am victorious! Thanks Lord!!

Another obstacle has been thinking  I won't do it "right". So, I went to the library and read a whole book on blogging called, Blogging for Bliss (it was a beautiful and encouraging book) I cannot remember the author's name (forgive me!!) But I will find it and let you know. The book interviewed many popular bloggers and most of them said to" just go for it." They addressed a lot of my  psychobabble and the consensus was 
step out and get started.

So, here I am. I'm determined to overcome this ridiculous, yet real, fear factor and join the blogging world today. Get lost procrastination temptation! I am on a roll now!

Thanks for listening to me whoever you are out there..if you are out there..

Determination
closes the door
to the temptation
for procrastination.

That is a pseudo quote (as well as I remembered it) from Dave Meyer (Joyce's hubby). Pretty cool huh?

Have a blessed and wonderfully victorious day!!
Love,
Kathryn